As a couple that has been traveling together for over 10 years, we have certainly mastered the art of negotiation. We can’t both love the same things all of the time in life. But if you take a chance and actually try something that your partner wants to do – even if you don’t want to – you may discover that you like it.
Chances are, you fell in love with each other because you admire your spouse’s qualities. Compatible couples tend to compliment each other’s personalities and bring out the best in one another. The same is true for activities: If your partner likes something and you are willing to give it a try, it will most likely bring out a love for a new hobby or adventure that you didn’t even know was inside of you.
You have to be willing to step out of your comfort zone for each other to truly enjoy traveling for long periods of time together.
When we first started traveling, I didn’t want to spend all of my time trekking through the jungle. Dave, on the other hand, didn’t want to spend all of his time shopping at the local market. But through our travels, we learned to plan and discuss what each person wants to do, and then we compromise: “I will do this if you will do that.” In other words, we learned the art of negotiation.
Now, after several years of being on the road together, we both love it all. I can’t wait to climb my next mountain, and Dave loves making a perfect deal while bartering in the markets.
Have an Open Mind
The key is to have an open mind. It won’t work if you automatically shoot down each other’s ideas. That will only put a strain on the relationship and you may end up never traveling together again. You have to be willing to step out of your comfort zone for each other to truly enjoy traveling for long periods of time together.
But as long as each of you is willing to give and take, traveling as a couple can be the most fulfilling experience of your life.
When we were in Bali, Dave really wanted to climb Gunung Batur, an active volcano. For some reason, I was terribly afraid of the unpredictability of being on a mountain that could explode, and didn’t want to go. He said that if at any point I was uncomfortable, we would stop, turn around and go back together – but that I should at least give it a try. I ended up loving it and would have really missed out if I didn’t go.
Communication is Critical
Communication and understanding is important however. Dave could have said: “Fine I will go without you”. And I could easily have stayed in town. But by talking it out and keeping our goal of experiencing life as a couple, we both ended up having an incredible time that strengthened our relationship.
After our climb up the volcano, we went to the spa together the next day and had a massage and hot floral bath. I negotiated with Dave that if I did something that he really wanted to do, then he should do something that I really like. Even if it was something completely out of character. He ended up loving the pampering and he felt great afterwards.
That is the great thing is about traveling with the opposite sex. We are made up completely different from one another. To travel with someone that has your exact interests would be boring. You wouldn’t be inspired to try anything new.
By keeping our minds open to each other’s suggestions, we end up exploring things that we never would have tried in the first place. And we end up liking things that we never thought possible.
Travel can profoundly change a person, and to have the chance to change and grow with your spouse, can only strengthen the relationship and create an unshakable bond that will last forever.